Guys, once again, its been too long.
Accept my sincerest apologies for not blagging recently BUT it has been a VERY busy couple of days in LaLa Land.
I had a bit of a situation with my trusty old 4Runner– meaning it committed suicide and left me lonely and car-less in Greater Los Angeles.
I said a sad farewell to my old friend– my only friend, in fact, that made the glorious cross country adventure to California almost a year ago to the day with me.
But now Black Beauty and I are no more and I guess it makes sense.
She was always more of a farm animal than a city car. She was big and slow and smelled like grass (…?) so city life just didn’t really make sense for her.
Nor did it make sense for me. I was paying upwards of 6o DOLLARS A WEEK for gas.
It was time for us to part ways before my wallet up and committed suicide as well.
SO ON TO THE NEXT GREAT ADVENTURE—
BUYING A CAR IN LOS ANGELES!
After driving– no, mostly just sitting in a gas guzzler for almost a year thanks to the AMAZING traffic of El Lay, obviously I had my sights set on something a bit more economical and inexpensive. Acknowledging that I am going to have to wait a few more years before I can buy my $500,000 Audi R8, I instead set my sights on a Prius.
I know. A Prius. Typical.
BUT before you go off into a frenzy of worry over my sanity let me just say that though I want to drive a Prius (spaceship) I have NO PLANS of becoming fully indoctrinated in alien culture (Scientology).
I ask you to envision how YOU think buying a car in El Lay would go. If you are imagining sleazy salesmen with greased back hair and thick accents YOU ARE CORRECT.
Mother (via phone) and I did, HOWEVER, end up finding a diamond in the rough among salesmen. And I feel like I didn’t get screwed over TOO BADLY (some screwing over was inevitable).
Truth be told, throughout this process mother and I probably racked up an ENORMOUS phone bill. Pretty sure my cell phone never left my ear and now sometimes even when I am not on the phone with her and everyone around me is real quiet, I can hear mother’s sound car buying advice. It is as if we never hung up.
So now I drive a spaceship and I feel pretty badass about it. Mainly because the windows are uber tented so sometimes (read: all the time) I like to pretend I am an eco-friendly celebrity.
Speaking of fame. Remember that one time I was on TV?
Well I filmed another piece that was suppose to be in last weeks episode but I didn’t make the cut. And at first I was all like super bummed about it. But then I saw my clip and I was super thankful because my thighs looked super huge.
Don’t worry though, I have cut out my huge thighs AND fulfilled a lifelong dream (read: two week long dream) to GIF myself. Here you goes…
Adieu for now, loyal readers (read: hey mom, call you in a bit). I’ll try to be back ASAP but its going to be another busy week for me. In addition to buying a new car I also signed a lease for a new apartment.
And now after buying a car and signing an apartment lease within 4 days of one another, I gotta hustle. Because I am SO poor after those two big gurl purchases.
That Audi R8 may yet be a few more years away.
P.S. I named the new car. Pretty Pretty Princess Prius or Pretty Pretty Alien Princess Prius depending on my mood.